| New synopsis for DEBT & FAITH |
[Mar. 5th, 2009|10:34 am] |
So, I finished my novel all the way back in 2006. It took three years to write it and I guess maybe it took three years to write the synopsis. I've been kicking around versions of this for years. I wrote a new one this morning after hanging out with a writer friend on Tuesday and revisiting some of this stuff in my head. Tell me what you think. Here it is:
Evan Neverever is on the run. He just isn't sure if anyone is chasing him. So he drives further west from D.C. every day and by night he waits in generic hotel rooms for someone to kick his door in. He kills time by writing out his story on a stolen typewriter. It's the story of unraveling Zoe Calypso's true role in the tragic life of her protege, Lena Pavlovna. Lena's a 22-year-old owner of a resurgent art gallery who saw her father murdered at 14, lost her best friend at 18 and never really had a mother. Evan's running now that he has solved the mysteries of her life by using his otherworldly talent. A talent he's so reluctant to describe that he doesn't even like to do it on paper, alone, in a random East Texas hotel room. Here's the old version that I had been using:
Since witnessing her father’s murder in their Capitol Hill home at the age of 14, Lena Pavlovna, 22, had only trusted her father’s colleague, Zoe Calypso, and her own best friend, Thena. Then, Thena died, too, in a suspicious car crash, and it was down to Zoe, the famous artist and art purveyor. When the novel begins, Zoe has hired the heavily indebted Evan Neverever to be her errand boy and fence. She introduces him to Lena, and he, in turn, pulls her out of fist fights and reveals his secret talent, a kind of textual ESP, to the younger woman. Her guard lowered for the first time that she can remember, Lena charges him with solving the most vexing mystery of her troubled life: why is her best friend dead? In pursuing an answer, Evan forces her to face a new side of her late father and the real monster behind his death.
Which is more compelling? Very curious what you think. |
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| Comments: |
Considering it is a synopsis rather than a commercial preview, I suppose it does not necessarily have to build up the suspense, but that level of intrigue you developed in the first is the very reason why I like it more. The story sounds interesting.
From: (Anonymous) 2009-03-06 02:41 am (UTC)
#2 | (Link)
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I like number 2 better but I think you could tighten it up even more by removing some of the proper nouns. Wealthy art dealer is more descriptive than Zoe Calypso to a new reader.
Are you going to podcast this one??? I loved the last one!
m (http://www.dreamyorangepie.com/)
I like #1 a little better in terms of the writing. There's something choppy about #2. Plus, I got lost at "...,Thena. Then, Thena. . ." It started to feel like a synopsis by e.e. cummings.
From: rachelrev 2009-03-07 05:23 am (UTC)
Save #1 for the dust jacket | (Link)
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Though I prefer the captivating prose of #1, I think #2 is a better synopsis. | |